Lately when I've felt a little tense, the word "soften" has been coming to mind. I like it because it doesn't mean I have to fully release whatever it is I'm stressing over but if I can even soften just a little bit that takes the pressure off.
Coming back from a long vacation, my mind is swirling with all the things I'm excited to tackle over the next couple weeks. I'm ready to get back in the groove! But at times the mounting to-do list can feel a little overwhelming to keep track of, as I'm sure many of you can all relate to! The word "soften" brings me back to the present moment and remind me of what I have to be grateful for- like getting to shower in my own bathroom! Glorious!
I vow as I get back in the swing of things to remind myself to "soften, Katelyn, soften." After all, nothing on my to-do list is a life-or-death matter; it will all get done in time. Easter weekend means a big get-together with the fam, the weather in pittsburgh has been gorgeous, I had an amazing trip, and I'm excited to be home!!
So let's go a little easier on ourselves and soften a bit!!
As a follow-up to my recent post about loving ourselves and quitting the negative self talk (if you missed it, you can find it here: http://katelynlesk.blogspot.com/2016/03/self-inflicted-body-shaming-and-losing.html), I realize that the picture I used might not have been the best to exemplify my point. I wrote that blog post late at night and quickly pulled a workout picture from my phone to use for the quote. While it was a recent picture, it was also taken at a very flattering angle on one of those days where for the first time in a while, my digestive system was not acting up, I was not feeling bloated, and in general I just happened to be feeling great that day. I can assure you that it doesn't exactly reflect my current fitness level! My weight can fluctuate a lot even within a few days. I questioned using this flattering workout picture at the time for fear it would defeat the purpose of the message and after being teased about the contradiction of it by a very good friend, I decided I REALLY needed to set the record straight :)
So here is a more accurate picture, taken less than a week apart - this is what I was talking about in the post about my jeans fitting snugly. I am not in my best shape right now (I've been eating out frequently and the busyness of the past month has caused a few slips in my workout routine as well) but I REFUSE to love myself or my body any less :)
I stand by my original point in the blog:
"In the big scheme of all the problems in the world, having pants that fit a little tightly is an incredibly privileged problem to have. We have clothes, we have seemingly unlimited access to food, we have money to buy pants, and even that picture of yourself that you criticized was taken by a phone or camera that a large population of the world will never even be lucky enough to own."
Who else is committed to loving themselves a little bit more each day??
I would be honored to help you with your fitness journey :) Here is a link to sign up for a free account with me as your coach: https://www.teambeachbody.com/signup/-/signup/free?referringRepId=183908. Or you can go to www.teambeachbody.com, sign up for a free account, and enter any of my info in when it asks if a coach referred you: screen name: KatelynLesk, coach ID: 183908
Disclaimer Copy: Katelyn Lesk is an Independent Beachbody Coach.
I woke up this morning with a surprisingly high level of anxiety with no apparent cause. I've had my fair share of stressors lately, as we all do, but nothing abnormally out of the blue. There's a lot of things I could try to blame this on or try to work through in an effort to "rid" myself of it. I tried to just sit with it and let it pass, which I like doing, but I was having trouble shutting my brain off so as not to attach meaning to it (which of course keeps it stuck there). But then I came to the realization that I always eventually do... the one that is always able to bring me some peace no matter what I'm feeling. I CHOOSE to feel. I WANT to feel. I want to feel life in all it's "good" and "bad" glory. I'll take pain and sadness if I know it means it also brings me love, bliss, and joy. I KNOW how much I learn and expand in those emotions that we deem "bad" or "negative". I APPRECIATE sadness knowing that I allowed myself to really care about something or someone. I APPRECIATE anxiety for it teaches me to course-correct to paths that are more aligned with my truth and needs and it teaches me to build my faith so as to be able to feel peace. I APPRECIATE any negative emotions that allow the good ones to feel even better. I will ALWAYS be someone who wants to feel. I know I would have picked this coming into this life. I have never wanted to go through life numb... I want to feel ALIVE! I want to experience life and emotions in all of their forms! I want to know fear, sadness, and pain so I can know love, bliss, and excitement! I believe THAT's what we're here for- to FEEL! To experience! That doesn't mean there's a right or wrong way to this life, but it does mean that I ACCEPT MYSELF as I am. I believe that joy, bliss, excitement, and love can only be felt FULLY when our walls are completely obliterated! I am WILLING to lovingly feel fear, anxiety, anger, jealousy, sadness, pain, or anything else that wants to come up because I REFUSE to have walls up to ANYTHING! And I am learning to believe that ALL of these feelings have their own raw beauty to them. There is love and joy that can be found in all of them. A humanness. I believe suffering happens when we are in resistance to those feelings, or at least that is what my experience has taught me. I now find excitement when these emotions come up- the ones I used to resist- because I know it means I am learning, growing, releasing, or expanding in some way that leads to more good in my life and experience. As for the walls, I will have none. I am just me. And I am completely, totally, inspiringly ok with that. MORE than ok with that. I am in love with that. Bring it on!! I am ready for you, life, in all your glory and experience! I love life and I am willing to love it all!!!
This picture is from a calendar that my incredible friend, Alisa, made for me. The quote seemed especially appropriate and empowering today :)
It’s so interesting/synchronistic how something that I learned in the talk I went to this morning with John Henne (of Henne Jewelers in Pittsburgh) completely and directly applied to our Beachbody regional meeting later in the day and REALLY affected my mindset in a positive way (and I think he gave a great message for ANYONE regardless of what your business/career is so please, read on)...
Beachbody events are always jam packed with awesomeness, however it’s not always sunshine and rainbows behind the scenes. It’s an incredible business but it is TOUGH mentally to maintain belief in yourself during the inevitable disappointments and slow phases that come with any business. With as rapidly as the health and fitness industry is growing, it’s HARD not to get caught up in the lack mentality that leads to comparing our success against the seeming progress of others. And a prime time that this comes up is during recognition at events like this. If you’d have told 3-years-ago me that I’d be where I am today, I’d be absolutely thrilled. Looking back, I’m so proud of the progress I’ve made, not just in my business, but in my life! But like any business (and life in general), there are always more levels, more milestones that we can achieve, and more things that we feel we could be or “should be” doing/accomplishing.
Fortunately, I was at a Learning to Lead event this morning (an organization by Doug and Laura Smith that brings in high-character and successful business leaders from around the area to speak on what they believe are the key components to their success and fulfillment) and today they brought in John Henne. I asked John this morning for his tips on how he overcomes the temptation to fall into lack mentality and comparison mode. His answer was one of my biggest take-aways of his talk. He said, “I realized that I don’t need to be the biggest to be the best at what I do.” In his talk, it was SO EVIDENT how much he values and exemplifies QUALITY work and true and sincere care for his customers. He spoke repeatedly about the importance of focusing on giving rather than worrying about what you’re trying to get out of it, and in doing so, you actually get far more than you ever could have imagined. One of the things that I thought was so neat about their business and attitude is how much they care about the marriage of their customers as opposed to it just an engagement ring sale- they even give their customers a book, “Things I Wish I Knew Before Marriage,” by Gary Chapman. It was such an important reminder of the little ways we can go above and beyond to show business clients (as well as the important people in our lives!) that we care. It reminded me how important it is to keep the big picture and the true PURPOSE of my business in mind and look for extra ways in which I can SERVE. The legacy comes in what we are able to GIVE BACK. He also emphasized the importance of being happy with who you are and reminded us that if you are not happy with who you are, you will never be a good employee. He said, “it’s not about the job it’s the attitude you bring to job.”
So how did this apply to the rest of my day? I was reminded that even if I haven’t reached an arbitrary milestone in my business, even if I’m not as far along as other coaches who have been in the business for less time than I have, or even if I’m not yet as far along as I plan to go does not mean I am not still the best at this business. I am the best in my own way if I am giving with sincerity, if I am showing care for others, if I am happy with who I am, and if I am pouring words of encouragement into others. We can ALL be the best in that way. THOSE are the things that create our legacy. THAT is what people will remember long after we’re gone. And all of those things are completely independent of any kind of arbitrary accomplishment or society-defined “success”. So whatever it is you do, stop worrying about being the biggest or the farthest along and start focusing on GIVING and being of SERVICE and THAT is what will make you the best!!
John, thank you again for speaking with us today! I hope I did your incredible message justice!!
This has been a BIG message for me lately and one that’s been coming up a lot with my coaches and clients.
I've learned over the past few years that there is a clear distinction for me between times when I feel "in the flow" and times when I don't. I've also learned that life *in the flow* is WAY better and fun and free. When I'm in the flow, I feel connected to my purpose and my higher self, I feel grateful that I get to serve, I feel energized and excited, and I feel like majority of my energy and intention is connected to a greater purpose.
The good news is that I've been able to identify the little shifts that can get me back in the flow at times when I'm not feeling it so much. When it comes to my health and energy, adding some extra greens and doing SOMETHING everyday to move my body is all it takes to start to get me back in the flow. When there is stress I'm dealing with, even 5 minutes a day of journaling my thoughts can help me shift. I detailed more of these tips during a huge phase of overwhelm during the holidays last year: http://katelynlesk.blogspot.com/2014/12/holiday-stress-and-overwhelm.html. When it comes to my Beachbody business, I know if I'm running challenge groups and helping people regularly in terms of dealing with any stress or struggles they may be facing and helping them make baby steps to get them back on the right track, I feel REALLY good no matter what else is going on in my business. In terms of my general life purpose, if I'm writing and creating content that feels like it may be helping even just one person out there, then that makes me happy. In terms of relationships, if I'm surrounding myself with people that lift me up and challenge me in expansive ways and raise my energy, we're good there. I make sure I have business and accountability partners for support to help keep me on track! For example, this summer I partnered up with my friend, Meredith, who is also in the wellness industry. We meet once a week for *inspire sessions* to help each other brainstorm for future goals. I am super grateful for her partnership and ideas and working relationship!
I also recently wrote about making peace with ourselves and the things we deal with regularly, including our exercise and work. It’s hard to be in the flow if we’re letting things like this overwhelm or frustrate us! Turning “should dos” into “get to dos” makes a big difference in getting back into the flow! I describe some easy shifts to do this here: http://katelynlesk.blogspot.com/2015/09/world-peace-day-make-peace-with.html.
It's been a BUSY couple of weeks but I have never felt better! It's one of those days where I'm truly feeling like the sky is the limit! And the ceiling at the Beehive is matching my attitude ;)
So I'm curious- how much attention do you pay to those times where you feel in the flow? Is it something you consciously have to pay attention to and work towards? What things set your soul on fire and make you feel most in the flow??
Yesterday was World Peace Day and it got me thinking about how we could apply this also to our health and well-being. The question from the official video (link at bottom of blog), “who will you make peace with?” triggered the immediate intuitive response inside of me saying, “ourselves.” How much of our day to day conflict is self-imposed? What can we do right in the here-and-now to create more peace in the world by making our OWN energy more peaceful? Here were some thoughts that came to mind:
The scale. That number has the power to elicit an emotional response in us. Why not try this week to make peace with whatever number shows up, reminding yourself that that number also contains the weight of your heart pumping your blood; the lungs breathing the oxygen you are currently inhaling; the weight of your eyes that allow you to see your child or a flower or a beautiful sunset; the weight of your arms that can embrace someone you love; the weight of your hands able to grasp another in a sign of respect, high-five a friend, or create beautiful works of art.
Food. So often we associate food with guilt or deprivation but it is something to be cherished for the nutrients it provides our body! This week, practice mindfulness with your food. There is a type of zen that comes with eating leafy greens or a juicy piece of fresh fruit :)
Workouts. This is not punishment. This is training your body to be more efficient and getting you to a healthier state! This is a chance to appreciate moving your body and all that it can do! Your body is in it’s highest glory when it is moving joyfully!!
Our bodies. How much are you appreciating your body and truly loving yourself? I wrote a blog on this recently to explain how much of a critical role this plays in our journey and progress:
Work. Make peace with looking at how we get to SERVE. If you’re someone who desires to help people, you can do this no matter what your job is. Here are some ways I have trained myself to APPRECIATE what I GET to do rather than viewing it as a “should do” or a “have to do” dreaded obligation (this applies to workouts too):
Other people. Sometimes this may be an apology or a conversation to work things out. Sometimes this may be setting boundaries or expectations. Sometimes it may be letting go of relationships that no longer serve us or being more intentional with who we spend our time around. It can also be making peace with other people in our own soul. If the other person is not ready or willing, a conversation or resolution may not be possible. But hanging on to resentment, uneasiness, unforgiveness, guilt, hard feelings, or general bad vibes does not serve us. It causes stress and reinforcement of the negative patterns and contributes to the overall negativity in the world. Working on forgiving the other person and ourselves for any wrongdoing, having compassion for how the other person might be feeling, recognizing that we don’t know their full story or what pain and fear might have been driving them to act the way they did, recognizing that any wrongdoing to us has nothing to do with us and everything to do with their pain, accepting and forgiving ourselves for any hurt we may have caused and learning from it moving forward, mentally releasing toxic energy, and sending love and blessings to that person can literally CHANGE YOUR LIFE!! We cannot control other people, but we do have power over our own thoughts, emotions, actions and reactions as well as the energy that surrounds the situation. Instead of feeding the situation onward with negative energy, let it resolve with your own peace and love about it. Say a prayer of gratitude for any tough situations like this, recognizing that even seemingly unwanted situations like this are all for our greater good, growth, and expansion.
Our time. Let’s make peace with time knowing we only have so much time in a day and be gentle with ourselves, doing what we can, surrendering to the universe what we can’t. Let’s ease our minds with the mantra: time expands, life is long.
Our life. This has a LOT to do with what I described in the video above: accepting what is and recognizing that the “wanted” stuff and the “unwanted” is all working for our greater good.
Not to mention, we have a TON of things in our lives to be grateful for! No matter how bad things might be right now, I know you have at least SOME things to be grateful for! For example, right now, I know you have fresh air to breath, you woke up this morning, you have electricity and internet access, and you have at least one person who cares about you and your happiness and is rooting for you (me!). Start with those little things if that’s all you can muster! And build up to the AMAZING things that completely surround us with beauty and wonder in this world!!
Ourselves. What are you not forgiving yourself for? What resistance could you let go of? In what ways could you be a little more gentle with yourself? In what ways could you be a little more accepting of yourself, flaws and all? In what ways could you take a little more of a chance on yourself? We can at times be our own worst enemy and critic. Make the world a little more peaceful by starting with yourself!! In doing this, you also give others permission to the same!! How can you be a little more authentically YOU today??
This may seem a little off subject from my normal posts, but I think relationships are ESSENTIAL to our growth and expansion. While surface level conversations are fine, I always feel like I get the most benefit out of a conversation where I really get to know the truth of who a person is. I often find that the more open and vulnerable I am willing to be, the more that is reciprocated. I try to be as open as I can with my clients about anything I am struggling with, what got me through tough times, and anything else I might be dealing with. I often find that the relationships that are built because of this mutual openness are some of the most fulfilling and supportive relationships I have. I end up learning just as much (or more!) from them as they do from me!
Where this can get tricky are situations that are assumed to be more professional upfront. I do think it is possible to get to know a person on a deeper level in ANY situation but I find that in certain settings, it's important to be more tactful about what we're asking and how.
A good starting point is to ask questions about life outside of work to find some common ground or interests to build upon. Here are some ideas for questions to ask to facilitate getting to know someone in a professional setting:
1. What is the most impactful lesson you have learned in your career thus far?
2. What is your favorite part of what you get to do (and why)?
3. What has been the most trying time in your career and what did you do to get through it?
4. What is the most important people skill or relationship building skill that you value most in the people you deal with in your work?
5. What do you think my biggest strengths are?
6. What do you think my biggest weaknesses are?
7. What are some of your biggest goals? What is your next step?
8. What brings the most fulfillment to your life?
And of course these questions can be modified to facilitate relationship building or deepening in non-professional settings as well. I'd love to hear ideas for further thoughts or probing questions!
As a follow-up to my post the other day about loving yourself to where you want to be rather than guilting/shaming/self-hating your way there (full post here: http://katelynlesk.blogspot.com/2015/09/love-yourself-to-where-you-want-to-be.html), I wanted to add some additional questions/ideas that will hopefully provoke some good thoughts and allow you to solidify for yourself why it is so important to try to be a little more self-loving. A HUGE thank you goes out to my friend, Evonne. A lot of these points came from an awesome conversation with her and I want to give her due credit.
She pointed out how often we link happiness to the weight we were at during a certain great period of life while completely neglecting that there were probably a whole bunch of other reasons that were much more the ACTUAL cause of our happiness! Wow, what a great point. There have been times when I was at the lower end of my normal weight range but my relationships, career, faith, etc were not aligned and I was completely miserable (another fantastic Evonne-ism, “Standing alone and thin is no fun”). Then there were other times when I was on the upper end of my weight range but life was stellar and I was living up every moment of it (see picture)! True freedom is learning how to love yourself and appreciate life and enjoy what you’ve got no matter what the external circumstances are!!
As Evonne so brilliantly put it, “I didn’t get thin and get happy, it was the other way around.” How true is that?? Often times they go hand in hand. As we eat better, the healthier food improves our mood (I also now NOTICEABLY recognize not-so-healthy food negatively effecting my mood). As we workout more, we feel stronger, we feel more vitality, and the endorphins boost our mood as well. We also typically feel more in alignment of what we WANT for our lives. But there are also other ways to lose weight in the short-term that don’t necessarily involve these healthy methods and certainly don’t produce these feel-good effects. More often than not, as we FEEL GOOD about ourselves, LOVE ourselves as I spoke of the other day, and find appreciation for what we have in the here and now, that is NATURALLY going to translate to our physical appearance. Think of the GLOW that radiates from someone who is really excited about life! In those states of flow, it is much easier for those healthier habits to fall into place rather than being stressed, frustrated with life, and putting pressure on ourselves to lose 5 pounds because we are unhappy with our lives and we think that will make us feel better. Truth is, it might. Temporarily. But it’s not going to fix the bigger issues that can ONLY come with a lot of internal work on ourselves and on our outlook on life. What we resist, persists. And whether that be resisting self-acceptance and self-love because we are 10 pounds heavier than where we want to be or resisting doing the TRUE work that we know we need to do on ourselves (internally- mentally, emotionally, spiritual), those circumstances will persist on. It’s only when we enter a state of acceptance do we release the blocks and pressure that have been holding us back and enter into a state of allowance. EVERYTHING happens more easily there because it happens from a place of love. It is the changes we make on the INSIDE that show up in our external world.
Finally, I would like to offer you a chance to take the next couple minutes to pause and meditate on how it would really FEEL to not care about your weight. Some of you may think that you would let yourself eat whatever you want and end up gaining weight. Well, that would be based on the assumption that it is only your pressure, guilt, and shame that will help you lose the weight you desire. I beg to differ. I have seen countless people attack weight loss with such pressure and rigidity that they end up quitting altogether. I have also seen people take the slow and steady route, allow themselves indulgences along the way, and still get to where they wanted to be. Think of how you would feel if the pressure was finally off. If you weren’t worried about how people would judge you. If you could solely base your decisions on your own happiness and love for yourself. Where would that lead you? ** Picture the difference in the energy if I locked you in room with a canvas, some paints, and a Da Vinci painting and told you that you had to recreate it PERFECTLY to the exact specifications. Now picture walking through a garden on a beautiful day and stumbling upon a blank canvas, a glorious selection of colorful paints, a variety of intriguing brushes, and flowers all around you for inspiration. Which situation do you think would create the better work? Take the pressure off. You are still YOU even without the weight pressure. You will still WANT to do what’s healthy for yourself… probably more so without the pressure of the results and instead a focus on what feels good and what is most loving for yourself. Sometimes that may be the salad, sometimes that may be a delicious cup of ice cream (which I promise will be way more satisfying when it isn’t followed by guilt and regret). It doesn’t matter. Live with love and let your heart guide you to your best. **Create a masterpiece today**
