I often get asked about my favorite personal growth books and how I stay so positive. They go hand in hand. Forcing positivity without true inner peace is temporary. I believe that any sustaining joy and peace comes from a true knowing of your beliefs. And the easiest way to figure that out is to open your mind to other perspectives, to learn what is out there, and to feel what resonates with you as truth. YOU get to decide.
It's nearly impossible for me to pick a favorite personal growth book or tool that has done this for me because SO MANY books, authors, conferences, speakers, youtube videos, podcasts, etc have helped me SEE more and have positively impacted my life. It has also come from my own vigilant application of these concepts, prayer, meditation, and a practice of compassion and self-love. Not once in a while. All day, every day.
I've pulled out my favorite books that were each turning points in my life when I read them. While there are many others, these are the ones that I am constantly coming back to. These books are completely devoid of judgment and teach only love.
"Conversations with God" by Neale Donald Walsh taught me that there is no good or bad; there is only the meaning we bring to each experience/circumstance.
"Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao" by Dr. Wayne Dyer taught me to learn through the powerful examples of nature to allow, to be one, to be flexible, and to live without attachment.
"A Course In Miracles." If you're familiar with it, you know it's a life-long process of untraining ourselves from our conditioned thought patterns of illusion, ALWAYS choosing love over fear. No exceptions. "Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God." -ACIM
"A Man's Search for Meaning," written by psychiatrist Viktor Frankl about his experiences in the Holocaust taught me I can ALWAYS choose my attitude no matter what the circumstances.
Be the change you wish to see in the world. Regardless of politics, external circumstances, or anything else that we may feel is affecting our lives, we should always be striving for our own personal growth. External circumstances are always changing. We develop a kinder, more peaceful, more joy-filled world by first cultivating that within ourselves. We ARE love. Peace already exists. And we can tap into joy anytime we want. It only takes remembering that it is all already there.
Lately when I've felt a little tense, the word "soften" has been coming to mind. I like it because it doesn't mean I have to fully release whatever it is I'm stressing over but if I can even soften just a little bit that takes the pressure off.
Coming back from a long vacation, my mind is swirling with all the things I'm excited to tackle over the next couple weeks. I'm ready to get back in the groove! But at times the mounting to-do list can feel a little overwhelming to keep track of, as I'm sure many of you can all relate to! The word "soften" brings me back to the present moment and remind me of what I have to be grateful for- like getting to shower in my own bathroom! Glorious!
I vow as I get back in the swing of things to remind myself to "soften, Katelyn, soften." After all, nothing on my to-do list is a life-or-death matter; it will all get done in time. Easter weekend means a big get-together with the fam, the weather in pittsburgh has been gorgeous, I had an amazing trip, and I'm excited to be home!!
So let's go a little easier on ourselves and soften a bit!!
Yesterday was World Peace Day and it got me thinking about how we could apply this also to our health and well-being. The question from the official video (link at bottom of blog), “who will you make peace with?” triggered the immediate intuitive response inside of me saying, “ourselves.” How much of our day to day conflict is self-imposed? What can we do right in the here-and-now to create more peace in the world by making our OWN energy more peaceful? Here were some thoughts that came to mind:
The scale. That number has the power to elicit an emotional response in us. Why not try this week to make peace with whatever number shows up, reminding yourself that that number also contains the weight of your heart pumping your blood; the lungs breathing the oxygen you are currently inhaling; the weight of your eyes that allow you to see your child or a flower or a beautiful sunset; the weight of your arms that can embrace someone you love; the weight of your hands able to grasp another in a sign of respect, high-five a friend, or create beautiful works of art.
Food. So often we associate food with guilt or deprivation but it is something to be cherished for the nutrients it provides our body! This week, practice mindfulness with your food. There is a type of zen that comes with eating leafy greens or a juicy piece of fresh fruit :)
Workouts. This is not punishment. This is training your body to be more efficient and getting you to a healthier state! This is a chance to appreciate moving your body and all that it can do! Your body is in it’s highest glory when it is moving joyfully!!
Our bodies. How much are you appreciating your body and truly loving yourself? I wrote a blog on this recently to explain how much of a critical role this plays in our journey and progress:
Work. Make peace with looking at how we get to SERVE. If you’re someone who desires to help people, you can do this no matter what your job is. Here are some ways I have trained myself to APPRECIATE what I GET to do rather than viewing it as a “should do” or a “have to do” dreaded obligation (this applies to workouts too):
Other people. Sometimes this may be an apology or a conversation to work things out. Sometimes this may be setting boundaries or expectations. Sometimes it may be letting go of relationships that no longer serve us or being more intentional with who we spend our time around. It can also be making peace with other people in our own soul. If the other person is not ready or willing, a conversation or resolution may not be possible. But hanging on to resentment, uneasiness, unforgiveness, guilt, hard feelings, or general bad vibes does not serve us. It causes stress and reinforcement of the negative patterns and contributes to the overall negativity in the world. Working on forgiving the other person and ourselves for any wrongdoing, having compassion for how the other person might be feeling, recognizing that we don’t know their full story or what pain and fear might have been driving them to act the way they did, recognizing that any wrongdoing to us has nothing to do with us and everything to do with their pain, accepting and forgiving ourselves for any hurt we may have caused and learning from it moving forward, mentally releasing toxic energy, and sending love and blessings to that person can literally CHANGE YOUR LIFE!! We cannot control other people, but we do have power over our own thoughts, emotions, actions and reactions as well as the energy that surrounds the situation. Instead of feeding the situation onward with negative energy, let it resolve with your own peace and love about it. Say a prayer of gratitude for any tough situations like this, recognizing that even seemingly unwanted situations like this are all for our greater good, growth, and expansion.
Our time. Let’s make peace with time knowing we only have so much time in a day and be gentle with ourselves, doing what we can, surrendering to the universe what we can’t. Let’s ease our minds with the mantra: time expands, life is long.
Our life. This has a LOT to do with what I described in the video above: accepting what is and recognizing that the “wanted” stuff and the “unwanted” is all working for our greater good.
Not to mention, we have a TON of things in our lives to be grateful for! No matter how bad things might be right now, I know you have at least SOME things to be grateful for! For example, right now, I know you have fresh air to breath, you woke up this morning, you have electricity and internet access, and you have at least one person who cares about you and your happiness and is rooting for you (me!). Start with those little things if that’s all you can muster! And build up to the AMAZING things that completely surround us with beauty and wonder in this world!!
Ourselves. What are you not forgiving yourself for? What resistance could you let go of? In what ways could you be a little more gentle with yourself? In what ways could you be a little more accepting of yourself, flaws and all? In what ways could you take a little more of a chance on yourself? We can at times be our own worst enemy and critic. Make the world a little more peaceful by starting with yourself!! In doing this, you also give others permission to the same!! How can you be a little more authentically YOU today??
There is always room for improvement, but I have to say I am proud of the point I’m at in my own growth. Instead of being impulsive and reactionary in tough situations, I can handle them with peace and grace. I mean this relatively because I am far from perfect in this regard, but I can FEEL my own progress. And that feels good :)
One practice that has helped me develop this and keep the big picture in mind when handling, processing, or reacting to any tough/sad/disappointing/frustrating situation is to be grateful for the tough stuff that comes along. It instantly pulls me out of fear and reminds me that these labels (“tough,” “sad,” “disappointing,” “frustrating,” “bad,” etc) are only the meaning I’m giving to it by thinking the situation *should* have unfolded in a different way. When I can pull myself out of the emotion of it and into observer mode through this gratitude practice, I am able to remember that EVERYTHING is happening for my greater good and expansion. If it’s happening, it’s because on a soul level, I needed it to happen.
While it is often initially difficult to utter the words, “Thank you for [insert difficult situation/person/outcome],” the resistance seems to fade almost immediately once the full thought is expressed and given a voice and it is replaced with a peace and awareness and understanding and calmness once the bigger picture is allowed to come into sight. I sometimes can even start to feel the tingly excitement of my energy and vibration raising as I do this. I urge you to give it a try too!!
Here is a video where I explain more. I also included some pictures below of the lake I was at when I recorded this. They instantly make me feel peaceful :)
