New mantra: soften

Lately when I've felt a little tense, the word "soften" has been coming to mind. I like it because it doesn't mean I have to fully release whatever it is I'm stressing over but if I can even soften just a little bit that takes the pressure off.

Coming back from a long vacation, my mind is swirling with all the things I'm excited to tackle over the next couple weeks. I'm ready to get back in the groove! But at times the mounting to-do list can feel a little overwhelming to keep track of, as I'm sure many of you can all relate to! The word "soften" brings me back to the present moment and remind me of what I have to be grateful for- like getting to shower in my own bathroom! Glorious!

I vow as I get back in the swing of things to remind myself to "soften, Katelyn, soften." After all, nothing on my to-do list is a life-or-death matter; it will all get done in time. Easter weekend means a big get-together with the fam, the weather in pittsburgh has been gorgeous, I had an amazing trip, and I'm excited to be home!!

So let's go a little easier on ourselves and soften a bit!!

End with the beginning in mind!!

Have you ever heard the saying, “Begin with the end in mind”? I’d like to amend that to include, “End with the beginning in mind” as well. How often do we get hung up in where we want to be rather than having appreciation for how far we’ve come?

One thing I’m grateful for is that I’ve always kept a lot of records of my goals and dreams- journals, vision boards (turned into vision books haha), workout trackers, business goal lists, and more. When I look back in my journal to even a few months ago at the things I was trying to work on then- everything from my mindset to beliefs to what I was trying to surrender and forgive- I’m amazed at how far I’ve come. Of course, I have lots of new things to work on but I’m at a deeper, more fulfilling, exciting layer (as we all are as we move through this crazy life)! I was reminded today but my upline coaches of some income goals they had set a few years ago and it had caused me to glance back at my 2013 vision book. I had set a goal then of making HALF of what I made through my engineering job as a coach with Beachbody (because I knew that would pay my bills and allow me to do what I love if I ever lost my engineering job, which I did). Now, just 2 years later, I make DOUBLE what I did at my engineering job- all just by putting a LOT of effort into helping people and following my heart step by step!

Sometimes when we feel far away from where we want to be, we need only to look back and see how far we’ve come to be reminded of how INCREDIBLE we are!! Don’t forget that!! If you are having trouble believing in yourself right now, just remember that I BELIEVE IN YOU and I’m ROOTING for you!!!! But also take a second to look back at your “beginning” and appreciate your roots and how far you have come, the progress you have made, and who you ARE now because of it!! I am proud of you!!!

Beachbody does not guarantee any level of success or income from the Team Beachbody Coach Opportunity. Each Coach’s income depends on his or her own efforts, diligence, and skill. See our Statement of Independent Coach Earnings located in the Coach Online Office for the most recent information on our Coaches’ actual incomes. The Statement of Independent Coach Earnings can be found at http://www.beachbodycoach.com/uploads/fckeditor/mdbody/File/downloads/statement_of_independent_coach_earnings.pdf

Disclaimer Copy: Katelyn Lesk is an Independent Beachbody Coach.

A follow-up about self-love and weight loss

As a follow-up to my post the other day about loving yourself to where you want to be rather than guilting/shaming/self-hating your way there (full post here: http://katelynlesk.blogspot.com/2015/09/love-yourself-to-where-you-want-to-be.html), I wanted to add some additional questions/ideas that will hopefully provoke some good thoughts and allow you to solidify for yourself why it is so important to try to be a little more self-loving. A HUGE thank you goes out to my friend, Evonne. A lot of these points came from an awesome conversation with her and I want to give her due credit.

She pointed out how often we link happiness to the weight we were at during a certain great period of life while completely neglecting that there were probably a whole bunch of other reasons that were much more the ACTUAL cause of our happiness! Wow, what a great point. There have been times when I was at the lower end of my normal weight range but my relationships, career, faith, etc were not aligned and I was completely miserable (another fantastic Evonne-ism, “Standing alone and thin is no fun”). Then there were other times when I was on the upper end of my weight range but life was stellar and I was living up every moment of it (see picture)! True freedom is learning how to love yourself and appreciate life and enjoy what you’ve got no matter what the external circumstances are!!

As Evonne so brilliantly put it, “I didn’t get thin and get happy, it was the other way around.” How true is that?? Often times they go hand in hand. As we eat better, the healthier food improves our mood (I also now NOTICEABLY recognize not-so-healthy food negatively effecting my mood). As we workout more, we feel stronger, we feel more vitality, and the endorphins boost our mood as well. We also typically feel more in alignment of what we WANT for our lives. But there are also other ways to lose weight in the short-term that don’t necessarily involve these healthy methods and certainly don’t produce these feel-good effects. More often than not, as we FEEL GOOD about ourselves, LOVE ourselves as I spoke of the other day, and find appreciation for what we have in the here and now, that is NATURALLY going to translate to our physical appearance. Think of the GLOW that radiates from someone who is really excited about life! In those states of flow, it is much easier for those healthier habits to fall into place rather than being stressed, frustrated with life, and putting pressure on ourselves to lose 5 pounds because we are unhappy with our lives and we think that will make us feel better. Truth is, it might. Temporarily. But it’s not going to fix the bigger issues that can ONLY come with a lot of internal work on ourselves and on our outlook on life. What we resist, persists. And whether that be resisting self-acceptance and self-love because we are 10 pounds heavier than where we want to be or resisting doing the TRUE work that we know we need to do on ourselves (internally- mentally, emotionally, spiritual), those circumstances will persist on. It’s only when we enter a state of acceptance do we release the blocks and pressure that have been holding us back and enter into a state of allowance. EVERYTHING happens more easily there because it happens from a place of love. It is the changes we make on the INSIDE that show up in our external world.

Finally, I would like to offer you a chance to take the next couple minutes to pause and meditate on how it would really FEEL to not care about your weight. Some of you may think that you would let yourself eat whatever you want and end up gaining weight. Well, that would be based on the assumption that it is only your pressure, guilt, and shame that will help you lose the weight you desire. I beg to differ. I have seen countless people attack weight loss with such pressure and rigidity that they end up quitting altogether. I have also seen people take the slow and steady route, allow themselves indulgences along the way, and still get to where they wanted to be. Think of how you would feel if the pressure was finally off. If you weren’t worried about how people would judge you. If you could solely base your decisions on your own happiness and love for yourself. Where would that lead you? ** Picture the difference in the energy if I locked you in room with a canvas, some paints, and a Da Vinci painting and told you that you had to recreate it PERFECTLY to the exact specifications. Now picture walking through a garden on a beautiful day and stumbling upon a blank canvas, a glorious selection of colorful paints, a variety of intriguing brushes, and flowers all around you for inspiration. Which situation do you think would create the better work? Take the pressure off. You are still YOU even without the weight pressure. You will still WANT to do what’s healthy for yourself… probably more so without the pressure of the results and instead a focus on what feels good and what is most loving for yourself. Sometimes that may be the salad, sometimes that may be a delicious cup of ice cream (which I promise will be way more satisfying when it isn’t followed by guilt and regret). It doesn’t matter. Live with love and let your heart guide you to your best. **Create a masterpiece today**


More about making peace with our selves, our lives, and each area of it: http://katelynlesk.blogspot.com/2015/09/world-peace-day-make-peace-with.html

LOVE YOURSELF to where you want to be!!!

I’ve got an IMPORTANT message- this has been coming up A LOT lately.

**I cannot stress enough how important it is to LOVE yourself to where you want to be rather than self-hating/shaming/guilting yourself to where you want to be!** I can PROMISE you that the added stress and pressure and negative emotions that the latter thought process causes is counterproductive to your health and happiness. Loving yourself right where you are does not mean you are throwing in the towel on the healthy changes you want to make- what it DOES mean is that you constantly shower yourself with love and acceptance while still evaluating how you can be kinder to yourself and create healthier habits. The THOUGHT PROCESS must be healthy too in order for it to show up in the physical form! And isn’t it wonderful to know that there’s someone that will ALWAYS be there for you and ALWAYS have your back 100% and will ALWAYS love and accept you know matter what?? Yep, and that person is YOU!! While it’s WONDERFUL to have a loving support system, it is also IMPERATIVE to work on loving and accepting yourself exactly the way you are, right now, at this very minute. Take a moment to APPRECIATE all that your body is doing for you! No matter what you do to it or what you put into it, it is digesting, breathing, keeping your heart beating, moving your eyeballs right now as you read this, and YES, your body is your biggest cheerleader!! LOVE IT BACK!!

Admittedly, this has not been my best summer for healthy habits. Between my birthday, several trips, and normal summer busyness, I’ve indulged quite a bit. But just because I’m working towards getting stronger, improving my endurance, and feeling more health and vitality, does not mean I can’t appreciate this awesome life and self I have right in the here and now!! If you’re struggling with this, think of someone less fortunate than you in their health or life circumstances that would give anything to be where you are. If that helps, start by appreciating your self and your life and your body for them first THEN slowly, over time, move into loving you for your own sake!!

If you base your self-love on how you look or a number on the scale, then your happiness at any given point in time will always be dependent on whether you are or are not at that point. So make the decision NOW that you will love yourself and have your back no matter what!!! It is truly as simple as that… just DECIDE!!! Throw out your cares of what anyone else might think (because anyone who does not love you unconditionally is not worth it anyway!) and know that no matter what, YOU have your back!! YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!!

I did a follow-up to this post that can be found here: http://katelynlesk.blogspot.com/2015/09/a-follow-up-about-self-love-and-weight.html

Personal development: you are WORTH it!!

I get a lot of really sweet compliments about my positive outlook on life, which I definitely appreciate, but in trying to always be open and transparent, I'd like to remind you all that it is a constant practice. I spend an average of 2-3 hours a day on personal development (I did this even when working full time). I listen to podcasts, motivational youtube videos, and audiobooks while driving, working out, getting ready, and during my walks each day. I read everyday. It has been a process. I don't seek perfection; I seek growth, expansion, increased awareness, progress, new knowledge, and higher energy and vibration. I am grateful to have this much time to put into this (I am borderline obsessive about it and make it a huge priority), but I also firmly believe that even 10-20 min/day can make a WORLD of difference in your life. It is all about seeing what you connect with, seeing what you can put into practice in your life, trying it out, evaluating, incorporating, and then seeking more.

I also don't think it matters where you start. For me it was Tony Robbins and Wayne Dyer because their work was what I was resonating with at that point in my life and journey. That then led to me finding other high-performance coaches, discovering other Hay House authors, going to conferences that exposed me to more concepts that I wanted to learn more about, and took me all the way to some of my current favorite people to follow like Teal Swan who has a seemingly endless wealth of incredible online content. But no matter where you start, you will naturally discover more people and concepts that you resonate with. It's more important that you just start somewhere with a little time each day. YOU and your LIFE are WORTH IT!!!!

Focus on the things that work out better than anticipated!!

On any given day, there are at least a million things I could worry about. I am by no means perfect at not living in fear, but I have gotten a lot better. I did a pretty good job of not worrying about my career future when I knew my job at my old company was in jeopardy. Instead, I threw myself full-force into coaching on the side and I honestly couldn’t have imagined a better outcome in the end. I was sad to see my engineering job go but I find my coaching job absolutely so fulfilling and rewarding and love that I get to help people every single day. That really was an experience that taught me to trust the process, especially since there was no way I could have planned for or foreseen how beautifully things would have worked out (3 years ago I never even knew about this coaching opportunity)!!

I had a similar experience today with something on so much of a smaller scale that it was laughable but it really is a lesson we can apply to all things. I had to make a phone call about an order I recently placed. I was dreading this call because I thought they mischarged me for something and I was anticipating having to argue and negotiate to get my way. I was frustrated that THEY had made a mistake and *I* would have to waste my precious time correcting it. But I said a little prayer asking the universe for assistance with working this out and made the call determined to be super kind to the person on the other end knowing that we both could work together on this. Well as it turns out, not only was *I* in the wrong about it (they had absolutely charged me correctly), but they ended up waiving a shipping fee just to be extra courteous and I was super grateful! So not only was it faster and easier than I thought, it also had a way better outcome than I could have even anticipated!

I’ve learned over my past 30 years that most of the things we worry about never end up coming to fruition. Often things turn out even better or easier than expected. And occasionally, not-so-good things, some that we never saw coming end up happening, and we deal with those when the time comes. Fear can consume us if we let it. It helps me to remember that the universe has my back and is supporting me step by step. It helps to remember we always have help and support from those who care about us (especially if we’re not afraid to ask)! It helps remembering that some of these perceived “bad things” are some of our greatest learning tools of all. It helps to trust the process and do my best to live fearlessly knowing that things are always working for our greatest good. And of course it helps a TON remembering things like this that worked out better than I could have even foreseen! *FOCUS ON THE THINGS THAT WORK OUT BETTER THAN ANTICIPATED!!!* and **JUST TRUST** Easier said than done, I know, but we can all work on it :)

A hippie by the river :)

In the summer I turn into a hippie by the river. I literally walk along releasing or recycling any negative energy and mustering as much good, loving, compassionate energy as I can. Every person I pass gets a huge smile and I literally try to project love and light and good energy to their soul. Good luck if you ever pass me, you won't know what hit you :-D

The mantra of the Light of Compelling Radiance seems like a good one to practice today :) Also, the Hay House World Summit is going on online!!! Amazing interviews with amazing people to listen to over the next couple weeks (and it's free)!!

My theme for 2015, How I want to FEEL

I started this practice back in November of 2014 and I've already been seeing the wonderful effects of this. I wrote out a statement about how I want to FEEL (I actually wrote a few versions of this). I have it in the front of my binder and I read it regularly. It immediately makes me feel reassured and at ease. The first paragraph on this page is one of the versions:

When I originally wrote this statement, I had trouble saying "I *am* someone who trusts the universe completely." I know affirmations are "supposed" to be written in the present tense but if something doesn't resonate as truth to me, I scrap it and rephrase it to be something more believable. But the interesting part is, the more I read this, the more I really feel like I AM someone who trusts the universe completely and doesn't get hung up on disappointments, and smiles knowing they are all part of the plan. If I can see these kind of changes in 2 months of this practice, I can only imagine what an entire year can do!

I made a video explaining more about this process with examples of other things I wrote. There are 2 parts (my memory card maxed out during the first one). I hope these are helpful! Here's to 2015 being an incredible year full of things more amazing than we ever could have conceived of!!! 

Part 1:

Part 2:

Happy 2015!!

Love,

Katelyn

Hope for anyone going through a rough time

*This post is for anyone who has ever dealt with any kind of anxiety, depression, or general feeling of feeling down or lost or not like themselves. Sorry it turned into such a long one but I didn’t want to leave out any details that may help someone who needed to hear that specific thing. I hope the story I am about to share with you helps!

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Hi everyone! I wanted to fill you in on some things that have played an important role in my life over the past couple of years in shaping the person I am today. I know a lot of you probably know a lot of the pieces of this story but I didn’t realize until I was in Gatlinburg, TN a few weeks ago sharing my story at our coach retreat that probably not many people know the full story and how it’s all kind of come full circle and I wanted to share it for anyone who can possibly relate and maybe give some hope to anyone who is struggling or going through a tough time in their life.

So as many of you know, I was VERY stressed back in 2011/2012 when I was doing a lot of traveling for work but you may not know how down it had me and I may not have let on how deeply it affected me. I generally live my life as an open book (as many of my beachbody customers and coaches know, I am NOT afraid to share when I am struggling, when I’ve missed workouts, when I’m behind on my business and messages- like right now- or when I’m just plain in a little bit of a funk). But in this situation, it was a little different. It was very tough for me to talk about without getting very emotional and quite frankly, I often times didn’t WANT to think about it more often than I already was. And it’s not like anything terrible was actually happening to me so I think there was a self-imposed guilt factor in terms of complaining about an opportunity that most people would be grateful for. Plus my anxiety was so bad at times that I wasn’t necessarily thinking rationally about the support I know I could have had all along if I had been more open about how stressed I was.

On the surface, I felt like I had a dream job. I always always loved working for my company (I was an engineer was a medical device start-up company). I loved my coworkers, I loved and believed so strongly in our product, and I was excited that my role within the company changed frequently enough to give me a lot of experience in a lot of different areas. So when my boss asked me if I’d be willing to take a role traveling internationally to Germany, Austria, and a few other places in Europe to help with our clinical trials, surgeon training, and product launch, I jumped at the opportunity. I was also told in this role that I may even be moving to Germany temporarily (6 months to a year) if the need arose. They knew I loved to travel (I was infamous at my company for always paying to extend my trips during conferences to take advantage of the sightseeing) so everyone, including me, thought this would be a great fit for me.

It only took me a few trips to realize that this was not at all what I had expected. The stress of navigating foreign countries alone; figuring out language barriers, train systems, and driving rules; and having limited to no contact with my family and friends at home (limited internet, expensive phone charges, and even the time difference made it all hard to feel connected or supported) made it stressful as-is. But there were so many ways I felt like I was being pulled out of who I was as a person and my normal personality, like having to deal with sleazy sales guys essentially trying to throw me at the surgeons for their own business benefit was awful. Can I handle myself in situations like that? Yes, absolutely. I learned very quickly the importance of setting clear boundaries even in situations where a normal person would assume they should not be necessary (thank you Michael Nilo- I will never forget our convo about this and the advice you gave me). I also learned how to be very authoritative when a distributor we were working with over there continued to make it very difficult to get our job done because of his own ego and need to appear one way in front of the surgeons and another way behind the scenes.

Long story short, this all made me feel completely out of my element. I need MEANING and CONNECTION and AUTHENTICITY and the whole world of this job felt so fake and icky and disconnected and unawakened.

The more I did this, the more I fell into a deeper depressive state. I was constantly having to be away from my friends and family. And for what? To be in this world where I didn’t feel good at all? Even when I was at home, I could never really enjoy it because I was always either trying to gain a grip after the last trip or prepping for the next one. I felt lost and I definitely did NOT feel like myself. Every morning when I would brush my teeth, I almost always cried when I looked in the mirror. I didn’t recognize myself. I didn’t recognize the hollow, blank look in my eyes. I didn’t recognize the stress I was carrying in my forehead lines. I didn’t recognize the lost, empty look of a face void of a smile for months. I could see pain written into every feature on my face.

It was hard for me to want to be around friends and family because I just felt sad all of the time. Even when the traveling finally started to dissipate, the anxieties I had picked up during that time lingered on. I all of a sudden had weird social anxieties that had developed somewhere along the way- for example, if I was going to go out with friends, I had to have a way to leave whenever I wanted in case I started to feel sad. I ended up telling a lot of my friends this and I was SO GRATEFUL for all of their support during this time. But it was still hard. I didn’t enjoy a lot of the things I used to (which made me feel worse because it made me feel like something was WRONG with me). I still to this day carry on a lot of the control factors I developed while traveling- I ALWAYS need to be the one to book my flight, to pick the location/duration of layovers, I never check a bag (one less thing I have to rely on someone else for). Don’t get me wrong, a lot of these travel habits serve me well but at the time when they formed, it wasn’t just for travel efficiency- it was for a desperate sense of control in a life where I felt like I had none.

The crazy part is, there was SO MUCH GOOD that came out of this. It was what led me into so many of the personal development books and spiritual development that have made me a happier and more positive person than ever (eventually). It was during this time that I read “Conversations with God” by Neale Donald Walsh, Wayne Dyer’s “Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life” (Hay House is now one of my favorite publishing companies, which has led me to majority of my favorite authors), a simple but extremely uplifting book called “The Energy Bus” by Jon Gordon, “New Psycho-Cybernetics” by Maxwell Maltz, and was led to a website called High Existence by my always enlightening friend, Diego Andrade, which opened up a pandora’s box for other self-help and self-empowerment internet resources. This new awareness finally started to break me of my automatic negative thought cycles and gave me a new focus and goals and purpose. I became mildly obsessed with doing my best to improve my thought pattern.

I also had spent a TON of time while in the midst of this depression thinking about what I would want to do if the stress became too much and I had to quit my job. I made a TON of lists about what had made me the happiest in life, what I felt most passionate about, times in my life when I felt the most satisfied and effective, etc. I thought about starting my own charity (only thing that stopped me was that I didn’t have a specific cause that I could focus on). I started volunteering a lot. I LOVED my time spent tutoring and helping with the family program at Light of LIfe. And this all eventually led me to discover the Beachbody coaching opportunity, which was absolutely PERFECT for me. Looking back, it incorporated every single one of the things that I had written down on my lists and completely nailed all of the things that made me happiest (helping people, health and fitness, showing people their self-worth, helping people work through their own fears and blocks). AND, I could do it while traveling if need be since it was all online (there wasn’t much else I could commit to at that time because I never knew when I’d have to go away again). AND, if I had been upset that day and maybe it was a day where I had been crying or wouldn’t have wanted to venture out into public, it didn’t stop me from going on facebook (nobody can see a puffy face through a computer screen!) and doing my best to help the people I was working with or create even more meaningful relationships with them.

The coaching was actually the first thing that started to bring me out of my year and a half long depression. I finally started to feel like ME again. I felt good. I felt like I was making a difference. Additionally, I felt a sense of CONNECTION again. A connection to the people I was helping, a connection to my true self again, a connection to the universe and all the people and wonderful things in it, a connection to a higher power.

Fast forward to our Fit Family Network Coach Retreat a few weeks ago in Gatlinburg, TN. I was sitting with 50 of the most amazing, open, caring, accepting, supportive, encouraging, positive, incredible people I have ever met. Talk about feeling CONNECTED!! :) :)  I was sitting on a panel with fellow my fellow 1-star diamond coaches, Kelly Grignon, Sarah Roberson, and Sandy Tocci. Scottie Hobbs asked me a question about why I do what I do. He said I’m smiling all the time, bubbly- what makes me so happy about what I do? I told the story that I wrote about above of a time and place when I wasn’t so happy and how it got me to where I am today. Deciding to become a Beachbody coach has honestly been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I’ve grown so much as a person and it has increased my spiritual expansion, self-belief, and belief that all things are working out for the best and for our greatest good beyond anything that I could have ever dreamed of. It sounds cliche’ when I say it, but the last 2.5 years of coaching have truly been life-changing.

An interesting thing happened when I got home from the retreat though. I realized that with all of the AMAZING stuff in my life (I am seriously BURSTING with happiness everyday), I remembered that I still have my emergency stash of Klonopin (anti-anxiety meds) in my purse. Even though I’ve probably only taken about 5 in the entire 2 years this all was going on, I’ve still kept them as a security blanket just in case I were to have some kind of awful panic attack. I realized that it’s finally time to let them go. I don’t need my security blanket anymore. I have a TON of people supporting me. I have never felt more connected and supported in my entire life. Not gonna lie, I did feel some mild resistance when I pulled them out of my purse but that’s just old habits and old brain patterns kicking in. There is no better drug than the love and support of my friends, family, fellow coaches, my beachbody customers, and all of the wonderful people in my life.

I wish I could tag all of my wonderful friends and family who have supported me through all of this; who have always supported me and who continue to support me with everything I do. You are all amazing. I feel SO LUCKY to have so many wonderful people in my life and I definitely would not be the person I am without your influence and support in my life. Not to mention, through all of this struggle, I have found within me the ability to feel connected no matter what, even when I am by myself. As Wayne Dyer would say, “you can never be lonely if you like the person you’re with when you’re alone!” And I do :)  My tool chest for feeling connected has grown exponentially: from Hay House conferences, to walks by the river, to a chat with Nikki, to a yoga class with Chelsea, to a call with my amazing life coach, to convos with my challengers, to laughing and joking with friends, to quality time with my family and playing with my sister’s puppy, to an incredible coach retreat in the beautiful smoky mountains with our fit fam, to dancing in my room by myself, I can ALWAYS get connected any time I choose to be. I’m pretty sure that is one of the greatest skills and lessons I could learn in life.

For anyone who can relate to this story in any way, please please PLEASE don’t hesitate to reach out to me for love and support. Now, more than ever, I believe that ANYTHING can be worked through with love and support. Sending love to all of you, always.

Love,

Katelyn

Disclaimer Copy: Katelyn Lesk is an Independent Beachbody Coach.