It has always been extremely important to me for others to not feel alone in whatever struggle they are going through in life. I find deep connection in the vulnerability that comes with sharing struggles with each other. I have become even more conscious of that in the past 4 or so years, both in struggles that I’ve had personally and experiencing first-hand the incredibly impactful and supportive effects of having someone reach out a hand to me and show me that I’m not alone and in having others come to me as a coach (I’ve been an online health and fitness coach for the past 3.5 years) and confide in me about what they are going through- I can’t even begin to describe the amazing feeling I get when I can share something with them I’ve struggled with and we BOTH shift into a better place knowing we are more similar than we realized. I am also very cognizant of the role that social media plays in this platform. I take my job as a coach very seriously and it is important to me to do my best to not just share my triumphs but my struggles too.
Because I struggle too.
When it comes to my coaching, I try to show my clients that I rely as much on them as they do on me! My workout routine isn’t always perfect. I fall off the wagon. My healthy eating sometimes gets side-lined by trying to balance social activities that include frequent meals at restaurants. It has taken me years to realize that there may not be such a thing as “finding a balance” but rather I can be ok with accepting the ebbs and flows and doing my best to course-correct as I go. Life gets in the way of this all the time for me. And that’s OK.
I struggle in relationships. It’s the area of my life where I have the most trouble believing that what I desire is possible. I have baggage in the form of limiting beliefs based on past experiences. I have a fear of being left. On the one hand, I am at a point in my life to have the confidence to know that I am fine either way. I love my life on my own. I’ll be good no matter what happens. But when I care about someone, I care very deeply and with that comes the worry of it somehow being pulled away. I have a natural resistance to that feeling of disconnecting from someone else’s energy. I care about all people. I have compassion for whatever someone is going through that is driving their behaviors and their goals/priorities in life. I know that doesn’t always align between two people and that is ok. I can have love for a person even if a relationship doesn’t continue and I know I’ll be ok on the other side. But my heart naturally still wants to show that person I love and that pull-away can be very challenging for me.
I struggle with anxiety. I have anxiety over traveling, over being overwhelmed, over being out of routine and my good “flow”, and sometimes I have anxiety for no real reason at all. It often manifests physically in a disorder that I struggle with (http://katelynlesk.blogspot.com/2015/02/by-far-scariest-post-i-have-ever-written.html). I often have vivid, stressful dreams and I get frustrated waking up feeling like I’m already behind in dealing with the day. I worry about little things that don’t seem to bother most people- typically those things revolve around the worry of not feeling well if I’m on a trip or out somewhere. It’s not a big worry, just a nuisance that I resist. I have digestive problems and I know my stress plays off of that and vice versa. It’s a cycle that I struggle to control and release and surrender. My default is to try to control and I’m still learning to trust in the surrender. I’m getting better. I’ve learned to become friends with my anxiety. I like what it teaches me. I’m proud of the coping mechanisms I’ve learned because of having to deal with it.
When I am in the grip of any of these things, it is hard to stay grounded and at peace. What helps me is the knowledge that I KNOW when coming into this life if God would have asked me, “Do you want the easy way or do you want the hard way that is going to grow your soul more than you ever thought possible?” I know I would have responded with, “Bring on the hard way!!” I would rather be pulled through the fire than go through the motions of life asleep. Any time in my past where I’ve really struggled with anxiety, heartbreak, or finding purpose in life have also been the times that I have grown the most. Struggle challenges me to increase my faith and spiritual connection. I love how I can share what I’ve learned with others, especially the people I coach who are so WILLING to be open with me and share what they are going through. I admire people SO MUCH who are willing to be open and willing to grow. We are all in this together. It is a learning and growth experience for all of us. Every single person on this planet has immense value to offer but we have to be WILLING to let our walls down, to share our truth, to be vulnerable, and to trust. THAT is how we discover the oneness- step by step, each moment of vulnerability, seeing that we are more alike than different.
And my biggest message of this is that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Whatever it is you are going through, I am here, walking beside you, and rooting you on in this beautiful, crazy, painful, incredible, challenging, enlightening journey of life. Together we can remember that it is ALL for our greatest good (what we label the good and the bad). Though the growth and expansion can feel hard, we can make it ok TOGETHER. Our challenges may look vastly different on the surface but the EMOTIONS are the same. We are all seeking love and understanding. We all struggle at times to feel good enough or to believe that things are ever going to work out. Struggle is struggle. It is all relative. There is no need to downplay the tough emotions that come from even what we consider small situations in life. You never know what is going to feel hard until you’re in it.
So please know that I am virtually sending you all love, lots of big hugs, and stretching out a hand for you to hold in your hardest times. Love and compassion are what it’s all about. You are not alone. And you will never be alone.
Disclaimer Copy: Katelyn Lesk is an Independent Beachbody Coach.
