A reminder about course-correction and not being able to do it ALL

I posted these 2 pictures on social media recently. The picture from the Ab Challenge post (left) was from about a year ago. The picture in the blue sports bra (right) was from a few days ago, and whether you can tell or not, I’m actually about 10 pounds heavier currently than I was in the Ab Challenge picture.

Here’s the thing. I often hear people talking about how they’ve gained weight as if they’ve somehow “gone backwards” in their life progress. My philosophy is this: YOU HAVE NEVER GONE BACKWARDS! Impossible! I CHOOSE to believe I’ve never been better than I am today. And neither are you! And you know what else? We just keep getting better!!! With each new day comes more experience, wisdom, memories, and life lessons!

I might not be quite as fit as I was at this time last year but we HAVE to stop looking at this as an isolated category. I’ve grown light years in my own personal development, my business, and new friendships. I’ve gone on several amazing trips and made AMAZING memories! I saw 2 new countries in this past year. I joined a leadership group, a toastmasters group, and a business mastermind group. I’ve made incredible new friends and built upon the friendships of the awesome people already in my life. I’ve learned some good lessons and some tough lessons and I’ve GROWN because of it. I’ve been exposed to new experiences, connections, and opportunities. I’ve been able to coach more people than ever and hopefully have helped them see their OWN WORTH (which means more to me than anything)!! I’ve watched the Pens win and Stanley Cup and got to celebrate with the whole city! I’ve spent time in nature! I’ve spent quality time that I wouldn’t trade for the world with my family! I’ve tested my limits physically and tapped into my adventurous side. I’ve made mistakes, I’ve failed, I’ve learned, I’ve succeeded, I’ve EXPANDED! I’ve met new people who have given me new perspectives of life and what’s possible! I’ve done lots of great work on my health and my digestive system. I’ve read books and listened to countless hours of motivational personal development! I’ve expanded in my meditation and prayer practice and grown my faith because of it. I’ve laughed, I’ve cried, I’ve had fun, I’ve made incredible memories, and I’ve been grateful about ALL of it!!

If you aren’t exactly where you want to be in your health and fitness, I want you to take a second to think about all the EXPERIENCES you’ve had, what you’ve LEARNED, and what you’re GRATEFUL for! A number on the scale pales in comparison to what really makes up a LIFE WORTH LIVING!!

Any time I feel a little too far off track with my health and fitness, I remind myself of these things that I’m grateful for. I also remind myself that it is OK TO NOT BE ABLE TO DO IT *ALL*!  We HAVE to stop holding ourselves to that impossible standard then crumbling under the pressure then feeling guilty if we don’t succeed at being EXACTLY where we want in ALL areas of our lives. Let’s start being gentle with ourselves and loving ourselves right where we are! Then, once we are in that space of love, we can evaluate where we want to COURSE-CORRECT! In my book, it’s not about perfection. Sometimes I need to reel things in a little in certain areas of my life, let go of things in other areas of my life, and remind myself that I’m doing the best that I can. For example, after the Pens playoffs, I had to let go of eating at restaurants (and drinking wine) so frequently and focus a little more on my workout routine. Was it an extreme, drastic change? No. Just a little course-correction! If we’re gentle with ourselves, we can make this whole “life” thing EASY!

No matter where you think you’re at in life, remember, you’ve never been better! Keep on shining, rock star!!!!!!

Visit https://www.facebook.com/CoachKatelynLesk and http://beachbodycoach.com/katelynlesk for more info!

I would be honored to help you with your fitness journey :)  Here is a link to sign up for a free account with me as your coach: https://www.teambeachbody.com/signup/-/signup/free?referringRepId=183908. Or you can go to www.teambeachbody.com, sign up for a free account, and enter any of my info in when it asks if a coach referred you: screen name: KatelynLesk, coach ID: 183908

Disclaimer Copy: Katelyn Lesk is an Independent Beachbody Coach.

Baby Steps: Releasing the Pressure

I ran into a childhood friend tonight at an art crawl (very chance meeting given that we don’t even currently live in the same city!) and after some light-hearted catch-up, I ended up in a side conversation with his husband, Paul. What I love about Paul is that he’s not afraid to dive into the deep stuff. Neither am I. We both value authenticity and the deeper connection that comes from being fearlessly vulnerable, even a few minutes into a conversation.

After some talk about my work as an online health and fitness coach, we got into some discussion about psychology, self-love, motivation, and the necessity of loving process of getting to a goal, whether that be losing weight or climbing the corporate ladder. In my work as a coach, I am a very big believer in baby steps. I will always favor long-term, sustainable lifestyle changes over anything extreme, controlling, or pressured. I believe we have to love ourselves at all stages of the process in order to reach our goals (especially if we want to stay there and potentially go beyond it). I don’t believe we can ever self-hate our way to a goal and actually be happy at the destination.

My personal strategies for creating this in my own health journey have been an evolving practice of gratitude for my body. I remind myself regularly that my body is my biggest cheerleader. Despite how active or not active I choose to be or how healthy or not-so-healthy my food is, it keeps my heart beating, my eyes blinking, my nervous system firing, and my fingers moving as I type this. Reminding myself of what my body actually does for me on a physiological level makes me WANT to take care of it. Before exercising (or more specifically, when I’m trying to work up the motivation TO workout), I remind myself of the things my body can do that people who suffer from physical disabilities cannot. There are people who WISH they had the capability to lift their arm up when their brain says to do so. During exercise, I focus on appreciating the feel of my muscles lengthening, my lungs expanding, or the pounding of my heart in my chest after an intense cardio move. It can be euphoric to feel connected to my body in that way. When it comes to nutrition, rather than spending all my emotional energy on limiting myself, I try to focus on what I can do to increase my intake of nourishing, alive foods. The feelings of restriction and guilt are replaced by freedom and vitality when I focus on putting the right stuff in rather than keeping the wrong stuff out.

It has taken years, but these baby steps and perspective shifts have added up. I still get off track but I know I am capable of getting back on track. I focus on reducing the frequency and duration of the time off track rather than beating myself up for not being perfect all the time. I give myself permission to ease back on track. And I can truly say now that I love the process of taking care of my body. To me, taking care of myself also includes my emotions so it’s important to me to be gentle with myself in the process.

Interestingly enough, I was able to apply these concepts tonight, even with this very post. Towards the end of our conversation, the ever-supportive Paul suggested I apply for an op-ed in the Huffington Post. My heart soared with his vote of confidence and I trust and believe his opinion that, “this message needs to be heard.” Whether it’s me writing it or someone else, I absolutely agree. We need more people in the world giving us permission to take the baby steps we need to get to where we’re going. In a world where high stress is valued as some form of success validation, there are nowhere near enough reminders to slow down, love the journey, and love where you’re at right at this very moment.

When I got home tonight, I sat down to write. I succeeded at applying the first part of my philosophy; I allowed myself to just be where I was at. I didn’t sit down with the intention to write an op-ed application to the Huffington Post; I sat down to write a blog post to whoever might need to read this message about baby steps. I reminded myself that it didn’t need to be perfect, I just needed to start somewhere; there was no downside to just writing what was on my heart. The problem was, there was a part of me still putting pressure on this. How many times do we tell ourselves this is our one chance to “get it right”?? I was having trouble connecting to my creativity or what was even on my heart because I was getting too caught up in perfect wording. I was trying to be something I’m not. Fortunately, Paul’s reminder that this message needs to be heard really stuck with me. I reminded myself that it’s about the MESSAGE, not about the perfect wording. I reminded myself that part of what was on my heart that I needed to speak about WAS the pressure we regularly put on ourselves without even realizing what we’re doing. Baby steps are about releasing the pressure to be perfect. They are about giving ourselves permission to meet ourselves where we are and do what we can right here in the moment. Tonight, that was an unedited, unperfected blog post. Instead of worrying about a perfect format; a great flow; or a clearly defined opening, point, supporting points, and clever wrap-up, I just wrote. So this was my stream of consciousness tonight. Thank YOU for meeting me where I was at. And I hope someone somewhere was helped by this reminder that it is OK to do only what we feel ready for, to release the pressure and overwhelm, and connect to what’s true for ourselves.

Our epic run-in at the art crawl :)

Visit https://www.facebook.com/CoachKatelynLesk and http://beachbodycoach.com/katelynlesk for more info!

I would be honored to help you with your fitness journey :)  Here is a link to sign up for a free account with me as your coach: https://www.teambeachbody.com/signup/-/signup/free?referringRepId=183908. Or you can go to www.teambeachbody.com, sign up for a free account, and enter any of my info in when it asks if a coach referred you: screen name: KatelynLesk, coach ID: 183908

Disclaimer Copy: Katelyn Lesk is an Independent Beachbody Coach.

Train people how to treat you- especially when it comes to your health!

This is a long post but this has been coming up a lot lately as many people I know are getting bombarded with holiday treats and I think it's a VERY important message to reinforce.

We truly train people how to treat us.

Scenario 1: When someone is being blatantly disrespectful.

How to handle it: We have to rise up in our self-worth and self-power and take a stand.

Scenario 2: The disrespect comes in the form of subtle pushing against our goals, often disguised as the person presenting it as if they have our best interests in mind. Examples: "loosen up, have a drink!" "You can work later, come have fun with us!" "Have that piece of cake- stop being so uptight and live a little!" "You need to be able to have SOME treats." In reality, this person does not have our best interest in mind. Or they feel bad about their own choices and want a partner in crime.

How to handle it: Learn to stand strong. Brush off any teasing or taunting and stand firm with your priorities. A long time ago, a friend taught me not to worry about what coworkers/friends/family would say when we were out at lunch together and I wanted to order something healthy like a salad. Despite comments of, "wow, someone's being healthy, huh?" or "what, passing on the free bread?" or other comments that insinuate there is something wrong/different/bad about you for ordering a salad when the rest of the crowd is indulging (especially when it's a new change and not something they're used to seeing from you), I learned to shrug it off and order the healthy meal anyway. After a while, I have learned to be firm and say confidently, "yep! I have so much more energy and feel so much better when I eat healthy!" You know what happened? Those comments stopped coming. And over time, some of my coworkers and friends followed my example and started ordering healthier meals too. Side benefit is that you stop being an enabler of unhealthy choices by no longer being their partner in crime!

I had to do the same with friends who would push me to drink when I was out. In 2011/2012, my job was incredibly stressful and because my anxiety was so high at the time, if I was going to go out and even attempt to have fun, I needed to feel 100% in control (so no alcohol for me). I made it clear to my friends that if they wanted me to hang out with them, they'd have to let me enjoy the night without pushing me to have a drink with them. They were great, and they did. They knew I was telling them that from the heart and they wanted to be supportive. At this point in my life, I'm not opposed to some drinks with friends, but too frequently makes me not feel so good. But they still to this day know not to push me. Sometimes I'll have a drink with them, sometimes I don't- and that's all ok with them. Often times they'll look in my cup and say, "water tonight?" Yup :) Real friends want to hang out with you because they enjoy your company, not because of what you're expected to do together. It comes in REALLY handy now with coaching since I'm often doing workout/nutrition programs where I limit or cut out alcohol entirely!

Scenario 3: When taking a stand becomes trickier is when someone actually did have our best interest in mind but was unaware of our goals or their values don't necessarily align with ours. For example, a friendly neighbor drops off a plate of cookies. Within this scenario, there are several sub-scenarios:

Group setting, one-time situation: This could be something like major temptations at a big party or special occasion. These are the ones I most often justify indulging. Get very clear before the event what your goals/priorities are. In reality, not many things are one-time occurrences. Parties, weddings, holidays, vacations, and other special occasions come up frequently. *Special* occasions do not necessarily imply *rare* when it comes to the big picture so we still need to be mindful of our big-picture health goals. I'm not saying, NEVER indulge! I'm suggesting to first make sure it's really ALIGNED with what you want. Here are my tips for how to handle parties: http://katelynlesk.blogspot.com/2015/09/football-or-holiday-party-tips.html. Stick with your goals and do what you need to do. Like scenario 2, don't be afraid to put your foot down and stand strong if someone's pushing you.

Group setting, on-going: For example, cake in the break room. Office treats, family get-togethers, parties with your friends- all of these are regular occurrences where you will be faced with temptation. I say on-going because in any of these scenarios, you will be with the same group of people each time when faced with these temptations. So it's very important that you make it CLEAR what your on-going goals/priorities are. You have the OPPORTUNITY to have that conversation, stay firm, and make the rest of those occurrences EASIER! At my old office, my coworkers were very clear on what I would/wouldn't eat. It kept me strong because after I made it clear that "I don't eat cake" (or whatever dessert their wives would send in), I wasn't tempted to have any because I couldn't go back on my word! I used to do the same thing when the holiday candy would come in from vendors- I would get sassy about it and brag that I wasn't going to have a single piece! Then it became a sort of competition. And you know what? Every year that I actually *announced* it, I held strong!

Here's what happened: less and less people started eating the treats and they would often go to waste. So people stopped bringing them in! We had a small office (i.e. 5-6 people) so everyone was aware of each other's habits. In time, all the treats became less and less frequent. Take a stand and TRAIN people!

Individually targeted, one-time: someone gifts candy or cookies specifically to YOU. If you're in a setting (like your office) where you can politely thank them and take them home, don't worry about it! Once you're home, you can give them away or worst case, throw them away. I hate waste as much as the next person but I figure if they are not healthy and end up in my belly, that's wasteful too (plus that puts my workouts to waste)! Or if you want to have a little, GO for it! And enjoy it! Then freeze or give-away the rest.

Individually targeted, on-going: similar to the previous scenario, but you have a feeling that they might be gifting you some treats again. Show appreciation but between now and the next time you suspect you might be getting some treats from them, CLEARLY communicate your goals. I had to do this with my mom who would buy me a box of chocolates every year for Christmas. One year I told her in October (way before she would have bought them) that I didn't want any candy that year (or any year in the future) because I was trying to eat healthier and I don't want to have that temptation around. It can be tough to set that boundary but it is SO WORTH IT because once you do, you don't have to worry about it again in the future! She was very understanding and I'm so glad I set that standard along time ago so I don't have to worry about it this year!

I have to do this a lot with my TIME as well. A lot of people think that because I'm a full-time coach and work from home, that I'm available whenever. They don't realize how much work I put into this and how busy I am. I not only have to say no to a lot of plans, if it's an on-going demand on my time, I have to be very clear about my time limitations. It doesn't necessarily feel good- especially because there are often a lot of people I care about and want to see and spend time with. But I need to be diligent about setting boundaries and limits on the demands on me and my time and make sure I'm getting in enough time to do what I need to do for my coaching (which also happens to be something I care DEEPLY about) as well as "me time" to recharge. Learning how to set clear time boundaries has been an on-going learning experience for me for the past couple years.

The ONLY person who knows what's best for you is YOU. No matter what the demand is (time, food, lifestyle, respect), anything that might derail you from taking care of your body, your health, your confidence and self-worth, your dreams, and your values and priorities is not ok. Don't feel bad about setting limits and creating boundaries. Who knows, you may inspire some people along the way to make healthier choices and stand up for themselves too!

Stand strong!! It will make your life a whole lot easier, healthier, and aligned with what is truly best for you!